heartshape

The heart only reveals its true intentions after the one for whom it beats has gone and already moved on. It is like a child that unceasingly astounds with simple reasons and untainted judgment yet nevertheless rouses the most extreme of emotions, even those that are thought to be chained beneath the dark alleys of the soul.

It reminds of Mother, armed with support and, at the very least, acceptance. It never tires of pumping breath into life, and never regrets what it sacrificed. It admits without question and doesn’t refuse what it gets in return. It never complains, never criticizes, yet like the selfless being that it is, one day breaks down in tears, and despairingly give up.

It is like the teacher who could’ve walked on a fancier career path but had chosen to stay, if only to prove that the best lessons in life need not be magnificent.

It surprisingly resembles Father, the self-appointed guardian, the one who chastises with iron fist and speaks in harsh riddles; whose warnings come in bundles at embarrassing hours, at unexpected moments. Yet, as always, the austerity that truly masks concern imparts wisdom that comes just in time to rescue.

The heart with its many faces is both deceitful and honest. It only hollers “Help!” when it’s breaking, only talks when it’s hurting. It never grumbles ‘til its suffering, and never confesses ‘til it’s too late.

Muriel's Diary


On nights when we're not laughing over Seinfeld, Tad and I would visit his grandparents living just outside the city limit.

That night wasn't any different. My heart did triple back flips when his grandmother mercilessly teased us all throughout dinner, I failed to brush the color off my cheeks when his grandfather kept dropping hints of how lovely we look together, and Tad, being the unexpected clown that he was, just rumpled my scrupulous hairdo and smilingly said, "Ria?! She's the best twin sister I never had."

Like I said, that night wasn't any different, except that I was even more in love with him than ever.

It was a few hours after dinner and I'd finally decided to bare it all. I was just going to tell him the only one thing he didn't know about me but it felt like I was making a brutal confession. We were at the balcony, looking at a neighboring ranch shrouded in darkness. It wasn’t a view many painters would die for, but the half-hidden moon scarcely casting its eerie light on misty hillocks was enough to give the night its allure.

Something felt wrong.

The first splinters of rain fell like pixies dancing on raven’s wings. It was an ordinary rainy night, but it was the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. "I have to tell you something," I said, barely taming my pounding chest. I heard Tad chuckle, he said he had something to confess too. I turned to look into his eyes and saw love locked in confused silence. Amid the sound of raindrops kissing the earth he told me he loved me. I would remember that night forever, even if the stars we wished to gaze at failed to come out, even if the rain somehow managed to trickle into my cheeks when hugged me goodbye.